How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says
to the other, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?"
The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was
Why is a bassoon better than an oboe?
The bassoon burns longer.
What is a burning oboe good for?
Setting a bassoon on fire.
What is the definition of a half step?
Two oboes playing in unison.
What is the definition of a major second?
Two baroque oboes playing in
How do you get an oboist to play A flat?
Take the batteries out of his
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon
What's the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad
A bad oboist can kill you.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a
Only one, but he'll go
through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.
What's the definition of "nerd?"
Someone who owns his own alto
What do you call a bass clarinettist with half a brain?
You might notice that there are very few jokes about
the clarinet. This is out of sympathy. The clarinet has already been the butt of
so many jokes - the saxophone, for instance.
How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change the bulb
and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would have done it.
What's the difference between a saxophone and a lawn
Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
The neighbours are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
Small wonder we have so much
trouble with air pollution in the world when so much of it has passed through